


Swift sweet rain

by cherrywongs



Series: Letters to love [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Huang Ren Jun/Zhong Chen Le, angsty chensung at the start, chensung are besties, markhyuck too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrywongs/pseuds/cherrywongs
Summary: ❝You deserve the world, and I may not be able to give it to you, but I'll try.❞According to Jisung, feelings are complicated. He was dealing with having his heart broken by Chenle when he found himself falling for Donghyuck (it involved some kissing and long conversations, but that's besides the point.)





	Swift sweet rain

**Author's Note:**

> so some people asked me to write a sequel to the chensung angst letter au, and i had already planned this so i decided to post it. it may not be the wanted ending, but here it is, hope you like it!

_ I envy you, Chenle. You wrote a letter to me so you could get over me and it worked. Me, on the other side, I keep crying over you. I hope it can help me too, so that’s why I’m writing you a second time, even when you don’t know I already did it once. This is for me, right? Not for you to know. _

_ First of all, I understand you. Sometimes love isn’t about feelings, sometimes love is about choices. Choosing what will make you happier. You chose Renjun because he would never hurt you, because you found comfort with him._ _ Because your heart felt lighter with someone who was always honest with you. _

_I wonder if I’ll ever have a choice and if I’ll make the right one. _

“Jisung, can I come in?” Donghyuck sounded soft. It had been ages since he heard so much sweetness from someone speaking to him. “Your mom told me you didn’t want to see anyone, but I told her you asked me to come, which you didn’t but I knew you needed company.”

Donghyuck opened the door after waiting a while for a response and getting none. Jisung was sitting on the floor, watching slime videos.

“Please close the door after you,” Jisung asked without looking up from his phone.

Donghyuck walked up to him, squatted in front of him and paused the video that was playing on the screen. Jisung looked up and opened his mouth.

“Don’t you dare to say I’m being rude!” Jisung clicked his tongue. Donghyuck locked his phone, put it away and sit letting out a tired groan. “I have a really bad condition.” Jisung rolled his eyes but a smile escaped from his lips. “Why did you put your phone on airplane mode?” 

“I don’t want you to be here. I don’t want anyone to be here.” He said stretching to grab his phone. Donghyuck took his hand before he could.

“I know, cutie. But you shouldn’t be left alone. Not right now. You’re sad.” Jisung shook his hand off and Donghyuck smiled.

“Everyone is sad sometimes, it’s okay.” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “I’ll be okay.”

“Of course you will. But it’s still my duty as your friend to check on you.”

“But you’re the only one who came.”

“I bet I’m the only one who texted you today and didn’t get an answer.” Jisung shrugged. “This is lonely boys solidarity.”

“So you’re saying you’re only here because you’re single.”

“Basically.”

Jisung giggled and Donghyuck smiled to the sound of his laugh.

“You’re a good friend, relationship or not.”

“Tell that to my next crush so they’ll have a good impression of me.”

“I would but you left the door open.”

_ Don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad for your relationship. It’s nice seeing you smile when you read the corny texts Renjun sends you, and the fact that your whole face lights up when you’re with him is adorable. But it also hurts, so yeah. Congratulations on your first month. I hope you and him spend a very long time together. At least one of us is genuinely happy. _

_ Since when am I so sappy? Look what you've done to me, Zhong Chenle, you and your pretty face and your scandalous laugh and your soft voice and your way to treat the world. I’m a complete mess and I blame you for it. This is enough, I will forget you, I need it to stop feeling heavy, to have fewer things to worry about, to be a little happier. I bet you would like it if I did. Because you would stop feeling sad for me. I know you do. _

“I don’t think they will show up,” Jisung muttered as he put some change in the shooting videogame.

“Yeah, me neither. Jaemin just texted me Jeno and he won’t make it and I’m sure Mark is at his grandmother’s.”

“And I have a missed call from Chenle so that sums up our friend group.”

“On today’s episode of Donghyuck and Jisung being ignored by their friends: They don’t attend a hang out planned more than a week before and Jisung feels very sad about it. How will he survive this?” Jisung looked at him with a straight face and Donghyuck left out a burst of laughter. “Come on, you gotta admit your circle of friends is not what one could call big, you should find a pair more, it could be good for you.”

Jisung sighed and Donghyuck nudged him.

“You’re right, I should try to make friends.”

“And even if you think so, the guys are not mad at you, okay?”

“I haven’t said I think that.”

“But I know you, dumbass.”

_ Why is it so hard to make you guys have time to be normal friends? I know having a relationship can be time-consuming and alongside with you having hobbies and extracurricular activities it must be hard to find time to do stuff, but I miss you all, I miss you, Chenle. The only time you text me is to send animals videos (not that I’m complaining), you only invite me to hang out in your house, and I don’t know if you noticed, but Kun hates me so it’s very uncomfortable to have him looking at me like he could murder me any moment if you left us alone, maybe you could think about other scenarios, since we don’t have lunch together anymore. _

_ Do you know how much time I have been spending with Donghyuck? His advice has started making sense, so I’m going to listen to him because I have no better thing to do. Speaking of not having things to do, can you believe my mom grounded me for failing a chemistry test? As if I didn’t tell her I didn't understand convalescence -you don’t know about that kind of problems because your boyfriend is Mr. Chemistry Nerd, lucky you-. Now I can’t use any electronic device the following week. If I have to do a paper I’ll lose my shit. _

"I saw you hanging out with the new kid today," Chenle said moving his bishop on the chessboard. "Is he nice?"

Jisung frowned. He was in check.

"Yeah, he's cool." 

Chenle smiled.

"Maybe you could go out with him."

Jisung shook his head as he moved his lady to eat Chenle’s bishop.

"No, Lele. Please don't go there."

"Why not?"

"Just please don't."

"Tell me a reason."

“I don’t have to. Stop trying to control my life.”

Chenle opened his eyes wide and nodded.

“Hey, Chenle said you were _ very mean to him without a good reason. _ I’m sure you didn’t mean to act rudely towards him considering your count of friends right now is limited.”

Jisung rolled his eyes and moved his backpack to let Donghyuck sit beside him.

“I had a good reason, he didn’t realize.”

“Whatever, he thinks you’re mad at him.”

“I am not, for fuck's sake. Did he tell you he wants me to have dates with absolutely everyone?” 

“You used to want him to have dates with everyone.”

“That was when I didn’t know he had a crush on me.” Donghyuck giggled. “Also I don’t know if you noticed but if I spend a long time with him I get the urge to confess to him.”

“Why is that bad though? He already knows you like him.”

“No, he knows I _ liked _him. He doesn’t know I still like him.”

“I still see no problem. You should go and tell him: ‘Look, dumbass, I like you and it would be nice if you stopped being cute so I’ll stop suffering for you because you’re already happy with someone else. Also no, I don’t want to go out with anyone, thank you’.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“That is exactly how it works. Do you know how many times I’ve been heartbroken?” Jisung didn’t answer. “Enough times, Jisung.”

“Can we please talk about anything else?”

“What if we talk about the reason you are always sitting on the floor?"

"Because it is cold. Just like the world towards me."

"You're so dumb I can't believe Lele liked you so much."

_ The new kid’s name is Jeongin, he’s nice. And I’m the only one who’s talked to him so I for once took a good decision. I think we’re friends now. I do not want to date him. Actually, I don’t want to date anyone in the next 20 years until I recover from being a big dork and losing you. Or until I fall in love with a cute person. Whatever that happens first. _

_ I’m sorry for being rude to you, by the way. You’re nice and tend to ignore how moody people can get. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to treat you badly, you should tell the world, ‘hey fuckers, I deserve good words and smiles only’. Because you certainly do. _

“Why are we watching this bad movie, again?” Jisung wondered as he pinched Donghyuck’s hand several times.

“Because I like watching bad plots to remind myself I’ll never fail as much as the people who worked in the movie.”

Jisung giggled.

“You’re so cynical.”

“Sometimes, but life is hard and the world is unfair so you gotta adapt.”

He entangled their arms together and put his head on Jisung’s shoulder.

“You’re as soft as annoying.”

“People tend to say so. Now shut up, she’s about to find out the bank will evict her from her house.”

_ Something weird happened today, well, not that weird. But Renjun came to me and said “Park Jisung! Who do you think you are?” And I was like ‘what?’ and he told me _ a little birdie _ told him I was sucking in chem and he asked why I didn’t tell him anything. You know the answer, but he didn’t, and I wasn’t able to tell him, that’s how it is. So long story short, he choked me for not reaching to him and told me to text him whenever I have time so he can tutor me. How nice of him. _

_ Also if Donghyuck ever tells you anything you should listen to him, he’s wise, I know it sounds weird, but he is. _

“Are you an expert in human behavior?”

Donghyuck looked up from his DS.

“As much as I love people preaching me for no reason at all, it sounded extremely weird, also you're never nice. Please elaborate."

Jisung put his hand in his chest.

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure thing.” 

“Anyways, you were right about the guys not being mad, and about me needing new friends.”

Donghyuck smiled and gave him thumbs up instead of answering.

“Did you bring yours as I told you?” Donghyuck asked shaking his Nintendo. Jisung nodded and sat in front of him. “I will destroy you."

_ I fucked up. _

_ Donghyuck and I were doing bro things as bros usually do. And then I thought of how much I like spending time with him and how much I needed a hug. Let me tell you, he smelt great. I don't know what I was thinking when I asked him to kiss me. He kissed my neck. I should've settled for that. But I'm big dumb and said: 'In the lips, Hyuckie'. He looked so shocked I thought he was going to tell me to stop fucking around and leave. _

_ He nodded, put his hands in my cheeks and kissed me. _

"What are you thinking about?" Jisung couldn't straight up tell Donghyuck he was thinking about him. "Quit making faces.”

“I have important business going on in my head right now.”

Donghyuck left out a laugh.

“What kind of things?”

“Things.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Do you mind if I kiss you?”

“That’s how you’re going to clear your mind?”

“If you let me, yes.”

Donghyuck smirked, he cupped Jisung’s chin with one of his hands and put his lips on top of his.

_ I wasn’t done fucking shit up and now Donghyuck and I are kind of friends with benefits. I mean it is nice because he's a great kisser, but also sucks because I am weak and his eyes are pretty and I think it’s not hard to fall for him. I’m not ready for that. _

_ Let’s think about it: being in love with you and suffering in silence was okay, but then Jaemin did his stuff and then you started dating Renjun and I cried and everything has been so wild ever since. _

_ Feelings are so complicated. _

“Jisung when you said we were going to watch the new season of We Bare Bears I thought you meant it.”

“Well, I meant it, but I thought kissing would also be fun.”

Donghyuck giggled and left a peck on Jisung’s lips.

“You’re so touch-deprived, I feel bad for you.”

“Come on, you’re as screwed as I am.” Donghyuck clicked his tongue. “I like your kisses.”

“I also like yours.”

Jisung flashed a smile.

_ Not that you care, since you don’t know about this in the first place, but this is the last I’m writing to you. It was already weird but now it’s even weirder, for some reason. And I don’t want to keep being edgy about your love now that I don’t really care about not being loved back. I think I got over you, yay me! _

_ Now, how I feel about Hyuckie, that’s a separate issue. _

Jisung would be telling a lie if he said he didn’t feel about to go crazy every time he made out with Donghyuck. He held his face with care, his lips moved slow and tender and he giggled when Jisung’s fingers tingled his back. Jisung found that sound so endearing sometimes he did it on purpose.

But one day, Donghyuck pulled away from one of their many kisses, he brushed Jisung’s hair without opening his eyes and breathed deeply.

“I don’t want to keep doing this.” Jisung let him go. He sat straight in his seat and looked at him in silence. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I have to be home early today.”

“Say hi to your mom for me.” 

“Sure.”

“What happened between you two?” As Jisung’s best friend, Chenle was very talented at knowing when something was wrong with him. It was also easy for anyone to notice Donghyuck didn’t stay long in a room when he came in.

“Nothing, Lele.”

“Are you sure?” Jisung shook his head, knowing he couldn’t hide the truth from Chenle. “You should talk to him.”

Chenle also used to be right about things.

“Donghyuck, are you mad at me?” Jisung showed him a box. “I made ‘sorry’ cookies.”

“You can’t say sorry when you don’t know what you did wrong.”

“Is this a retelling of my work?”

Donghyuck giggled and rolled his eyes.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m just, accepting things.”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“When I see your face I can’t help but feel embarrassed.”

“Why did you want to stop, then?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“Please. We’re friends.”

“And that’s all we’re going to be.” Huh. “Jisung, I don’t like you using me to forget Chenle.”

“But you didn’t mind at first, didn’t you?” He shook his head. “What changed?”

“I wasn’t planning to get my feelings involved." Donghyuck wasn't far from crying, Jisung could tell. "I liked your attention, your closeness, and it was nice because we were only friends. I knew I shouldn't change the way I see you because you’re a big emo who’s been whipped for Chenle for ages. But I still did, I like you, Jisung, and kissing you only broke me little by little.”

“Hyuckie…”

“I don’t want to hear how you break my heart as you say you don't want to be with me.” He smiled and ruffled Jisung’s hair. “I promise as soon as I get over my feelings I’ll text you.”

That was the second time in a row.

“Jisung, that’s not going to work.”

“It has to work! I don’t want to lose another opportunity to be happy.” Jisung scrunched his nose. “I deserve it, don’t I?”

“Of course you do.” 

“Please wish me luck, Lele. Your best friend is going to make a fool out of himself in the name of love.”

“Good luck!”

“If you walk past me I’ll follow you the rest of the day while I scream your name until you pay attention to me.” 

Donghyuck looked at Mark.

“Go ahead, I’ll see you at the canteen.” 

Mark made kissing noises and Donghyuck’s ears became red.

“For fuck’s sake, just leave!,” Jisung yelled and Mark laughed as he walked away.

“What do you want, Jisung?”

“I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I wrote you a little letter.”

Donghyuck snorted.

“You’re ridiculous.” Jisung frowned. “Let me see it.”

_Look, dumbass, I like you and it would be nice if you stopped being cute so I’d be able to stop wanting to hold your hand. Also yes, I do want to go out with someone (you), thank you. _

“Oh, Jisung, you’re so dumb. I won't let this be the way you confess to me." Jisung smiled. "Try again.”

Jisung reached to hold Donghyuck's hand.

"You look cute when you're mad." Donghyuck sighed. "Open it."

He let his hand go. Donghyuck looked at the roll of paper in his palm and squinted his eyes.

"If this is another dumb note I will never date you."

"Just read it, Hyuckie."

_ When you told me you had your heart broken many times I wondered what kind of person could hurt you. And then you said I broke your heart. I felt like a horrible human being. I'm sorry. _

_ I'm aware you're a fantastic friend, and I hope that by being by your side I'll learn to become one too. Thanks for always being with me, physically and especially emotionally. _

_ Remember when we met? You were holding a bunch of pretty rocks and asked which I liked the most. You gave me a black one when I said I wanted the white one 'it suits you more,' you told me. 'I know what my friends need!' We weren't friends back then, but kids become friends easily and you won me with that stone. I still have it somewhere in my drawer. _

_ Chenle has a misconception of you. You're not just a pretty motherfucker. You're stunning. And not telling you how perfect I find you would be a mistake. Your hair is so fluffy, your eyes so shiny, your lips so soft, your voice so annoying but also sweet and comforting; every time you call my name I feel like I'm dreaming. I find every little thing about you absolutely beautiful. _

_ And although I think you're easily one of the prettiest boys alive, what made me fall for you was the way you laugh, the way you get excited when you talk about the things you like, how sweet your kisses are, how happy you make me feel when I'm with you. _

_ You deserve the world, and I may not be able to give it to you, but I'll try. I choose you, and I hope you can choose me too. _

Donghyuck started crying. Jisung caressed his cheeks with his thumbs and Donghyuck sniffed with his lip trembling. Jisung put his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

"I want to be your boyfriend."

"I haven't asked you out yet."

"But I want to." Donghyuck pushed Jisung away and locked eyes with him. "Saying you chose me isn’t your way of asking me out? Because I choose you.”

Jisung giggled.

“I guess so.”

  
  



End file.
